Magneto (from the X-Men) had a damn good sleep. The kind of sleep that, when you wake up from, you look around your house and you see the dust and dirt, and you look in the mirror and see your scruffy beard, and you open your fridge and all your yogurt is moldy, and you think, “damn, I’ve really been letting life get the better of me.”

Magneto trimmed his beard and cleaned his floor and threw away his yogurt and took it to the trash. “Thwunk!” went the moldy yogurt. A nearby rat watched in amazement and said, squeakily, to his friend, “isn’t that Magneto (from the X-men?)”. Magneto pretended not to hear.

Later, at the shop, as he plonked a vat of onken onto the counter and threw a Snickers into the mix, too, the shopkeeper looked at him, and said, “By golly, aren’t you Magneto (from the X-men?)”

“No,” said Magneto, “I’m famous shakespearian actor Ian McKellen.”

Things were easier this way.