On Saturday he stayed in. He made an omelette and watched a VHS of Blind Date from 1995. There was a couple called Jo and Karl who really hated each other and there was chorizo in his omelette. He sipped on his too-fizzy soda-streamed ginger beer. There was an advert for Radox. A secret blend of thirteen herbs. From outside a cat, who had not been alive at the time of filming, watched Cilla curiously through the cracked-open blacked-out window.