You told me you were going to Switzerland. But I saw you in Sainsbury’s. Buying radishes.

You don’t usually eat radishes, so I thought, what on Earth is going on?

And I hid behind a stack of Terry’s Chocolate Oranges. They were discounted so I grabbed two and put them in my basket. I will eat them later, probably slowly while seething about how you lied to me, and thumbing through all my angry thoughts and plans to get you back, but getting them all chocolatey and orangey because my fingers will be too hot and too slow.

I peeked out and saw you taking the thin plastic bag filled with clean juicy radishes off the weighing scale. You put on a little barcode and walked towards my aisle.

And as you came a bit closer I realised that it wasn’t you at all, just someone who looked like you. You were probably in Switzerland, after all.