My friend Trish trained a squirrel monkey to open doors from the inside out. She’d have it crawl through the letter box (squirrel monkeys are small enough to fit through most UK letter boxes, the ones that go straight on the door and into the house), and then jump up and undo the lock from the inside. Then she’d go in and have her way.

They were quite a pair, Trish and Kevin (Kevin was the squirrel monkey). You’d think people would be suspicious of her, walking around with a squirrel monkey, and draped in gold, diamonds, and pearls.

But they weren’t.

People have more important things to worry about these days.