Application to purchase a dog

Dear Ms. Evans,

I saw your advertisement in the Gazette this morning. The one about the dogs. I thought I should clarify because there was also an advertisement for a bulk purchase of drain cleaner under the same name. But there are a lot of Evanses in this town and I imagine also a lot of Sarahs. So just to be clear, and just in case, this is about the dogs.

I want to be clear on this point. My drains are clean as can be. If you were to choose me as a new parent to those adorable puppies, you would certainly not have to fear them growing up beside the stress and sorrow of a blocked drains. Dogs have sensitive noses, I know. There are no odours here. My drains are clean. So clean. Please understand this.

Anyway, just to be clear again, because I feel I may have put my thoughts in the wrong order, and perhaps I am being presumptuous when I mention before anything else the wonderful and odour-free life that your puppies will have in my lovely home. My lovely soft home. It is so clean and so nice. So ready for small puppies. So here it is. This is why I am writing. I would like to adopt one of your puppies. Two of your puppies.

If possible I would like the smallest one and the biggest one.

Thank you,

Pauline xx