You bought two hundred thousand packets of Haribo Goldbears off the internet. You employed twenty-five people from Nottingham for a third of a year to organise them by colour. You commisioned four heated pools in which to keep them. On Sunday you turned on the heaters.

You stand before the red pool. The bears have turned to a viscous liquid. Goodbye bears. You dip your toe in the goo. Not just yet, you say. You eye up the green pool.