For her seventh birthday Jane asked for a red giant. One of those big old stars who’ve learned the virtue of living life in the slow lane. “But where would you put a red giant?” asked Dad. “I would put it in the garden next to the birds, so that they would be kept warm on cold winter nights”. Dad couldn’t argue with that. So he went to the shop to see if they had any red giants. “Excuse me, do you sell red giants?” he asked the shopkeeper. “Not here, no. Give Fred’s down the road a go”. So he went to Fred’s. They didn’t have any red giants either. Time was short. “Any other stars or celestial bodies?” he asked.

The next morning Jane tumbled down the stairs with glee, and ripped the wrapping from her gifts. Her face fell. She was not one bit happy with her neutron star. So she threw it out the window in a rage. “A neutron star is far too warm for birds!” she cried. No fooling that one, thought Dad.