What if I were a telephone? Would you hold me close to your face, pressed against your ear, and speak quietly? Would you say things like “Kung po king prawn and egg fried rice please”, or “39 Princes Street to Queen’s Gardens”, or “I’d like to update my policy details”? Or would you say “I’ll be 10 minutes late”, or “See you next week!”. Maybe you’d just say “Hey. It’s me”. That’s all I would need, if I were a telephone.