Linda is a tree.

“The thing about being a tree is,” said Linda, “that everything takes a long time and you don’t move very much.”

The cat didn’t stir.

“I said, the thing about being a tree is that everything takes a long time and you don’t really move very much.” she repeated, a little louder. She paused eagerly, awaiting a response, excited about her potential new friend. The cat continued to ignore her, despite having presumed a right to perch, rent-free, atop her branches to attain its privileged vantage point.

Cats are treacherous vermin thought Linda. Can’t be trusted. She gathered her courage and huffed: “You’re just… just a very rude cat!”

The cat couldn’t hear her. It wouldn’t have cared anyway, Linda’s just a tree.